This week I’ve felt the longevity of this experience in a whole new way. With no speaking engagements or work travel on the horizon, every day consists of the exact same things. . .and seemingly will for a while.
Yesterday the reality of that hit me, with all it entails. Worries about longterm income. Gratitude for the good work I have to do and a roof over my head. The tedium of spending twelve hours a day in front of a screen. The sense of being stopped and not knowing when I’ll get going again. The realization that my life was already weird, but it was my weird. This is something completely different.
For this first time since this began in March, I was struggling mightily with this yesterday. Then in the early evening, a number of people reached out to share their good or sorrowful or alarming news with me. As I listened, I was flooded with so so many feelings. A few fear-based, but the majority rooted and grounded in powerful Deep Love. From then on I had the focus of deep prayer. And everything else faded.
Cut to this morning. As I pulled up the blinds, I thought to myself: It’s Groundhog Day. Here we go again.
And then the most amazing thing happened: I saw myself as a small thread in this tapestry of our planet — and my own little personal experience as one tiny fleck of color and texture. And I realized that every single person will wake up and face today with some feeling and have their own experience of it. And either I could continue to see myself as the star of my own movie — or I could embrace my place in the whole as the whole reason I am — any of us — are here.
And when I did that, everything eased.
It made me see that I’ve even been looking at this heart-centered practice of wholeness from a less than holistic place. I’ve been looking for where I’m not whole. But there’s a much bigger question here: How do I show up as part of Our Whole?
Each day I share a process to help me step into a more holistic way of moving through each day. But today I’m going to do something different.
I’m going to spend the day seeing myself as a thread instead of a “me”.
That’s how I’m going to practice wholeness today. As an integral thread in the Tapestry of Life. Part of the warp and weft — no bigger, no smaller. No more or less important. Part of a beautiful whole.
Here’s a little video about this practice: