Yesterday I did a live interview about one of my favorite heart-centered practices to help face old fears.
One of the things I love about “public speaking” is that I always hear something I need to learn. I’m never under the illusion that I’m doing the talking. Whatever needs to come through will, because I’ve learned to get my ego out of the way.
Yesterday I heard myself talking about how fear can come in at night, especially when things are as stirred up as they are right now. A few friends have told me that they have trouble falling asleep. I am struggling with that as well. It’s because if we keep doing and moving and doing and moving, when it comes time to be still, fear sees its opportunity to get our ear — and takes it!
This week, as I was making a big decision about whether to stay put or move, I realized that I had company in my sweet little cottage. Some mice. For a couple of nights they got so loud that they woke me up. Once my adrenaline shot, it seemed to become a habit. Every creak or thump or rustle, BOOM — I was wide awake!
Then here’s what happened next (which, until I heard myself saying it yesterday, I hadn’t realized): The sweet mouse family trying to nest indoors suddenly became larger-than-life monsters from a 1950s B movie. Each time I tried to go back to sleep and my adrenaline shot, they got bigger and darker and more menacing.
It wasn’t until daylight came that I was able to think rationally. To read about non-harmful mouse deterrents, to recognize that I wasn’t living in a mouse-infested world, and to begin to find some solutions.
When I heard myself say this yesterday, I realized I had some heart-centered work to do. . .Last night, as I struggled to fall asleep and my adrenaline shot over and over again, I remembered what I had learned that first morning. When we are in darkness, everything seems dark and huge and scary and permanent. All that has to happen is for the light to go on, and everything shifts.
That’s why today’s heart-centered practice process of wholeness is inviting the light in all the time — to shine a light on those dark areas of our lives (old fears, old stories, the world’s stories) that we believe we can’t handle or don’t know what do do with. . . So, here goes:
WHAT HAPPENED: I have let mice coming into my house disrupt my peace of mind.
WHAT I INITIALLY FELT: At first I was pretty okay, but there was a slight edge of worry that I didn’t cut off at the pass.
WHAT I INITIALLY TOLD MYSELF: I told myself that they were just nesting and that as long as they kept to their area and I kept to mine, we could be roommates.
WHAT I INITIALLY WANTED: Honestly, I wanted them to go outside.
WHAT I DID: I was kind of wishy washy. On the one hand, I understood that they wanted a warm dry place to have their babies. On the other had, I let myself get a little creeped out. So what I did was take a halfway stance and that’s what ended up being the issue.
WHAT I WOULD HAVE LIKED TO HAVE DONE: I would have liked to have had a much more holistic definitive response. Something like — I understand why you would want to come in here. I don’t want to harm you and you don’t want to harm me. But this is not the right place for you. So let’s find someplace that is. . .
WHAT FEAR SAID: Now that they’re in here, how are they ever going to leave. Are they pooping everywhere. Are they inviting all their mice friends? To get them out, you’re going to have to kill them. And you don’t want to do that. So I guess you’re just going to have to put up with this.
WHAT LOVE SAID: Fear is not relevant here. It’s not helping you. It’s not helping the mice. Let’s find some answers together. (Which is happening!)
WHAT FELT UNTRUE AND/OR OLD: The idea that there are things outside of us that can disrupt our peace of mind and sense of well being. Things that seem benign but can be harmful. (Oh right — that’s what we’re hearing in the news every single day!)
WHAT FELT TRUE AND NEEDS ATTENTION: Whatever we allow into our consciousness has the power to disrupt our lives. If I’m not listening to Love, I’ve opened the door to fear.
WHAT IS NOT WHOLE: Banging back and forth between fear and Love, fear and Love. That is NOT whole.
HOW I WILL PRACTICE WHOLENESS:
Either I believe Love is All-in-all, or I don’t. Which is it? You can’t have it both ways!
If I love this planet and all its creatures great and small, how can there be some small creatures that can disturb my peace of mind and joy.
I will invite Love to shine a light on these old fears.
I will ask Love to show me the way.
I will commit to seeing even mice and spiders through the eyes of Love.
I will let go of fear’s stories and let Love write new ones.
I will turn on the light of Love knowing that that is how darkness disappears.
I will laugh at the silliness of a little mouse become a big scary monster.
I will not be impressed by darkness or doubt.
I will live in Love — night and day.
I will know that Love’s story is the only true story — and I will listen to that!
I will lean, learn, listen and love in, as, through, with Love.
And I will see every creature — even ones that seem to be scary — as the loved of Love.
I will live whole in the light of Love — and know that that is how we all truly live.
To hear today’s video practice. . .