This practice of wholeness is definitely the hardest heart-centered practice of this year so far. And I’ve noticed that it’s not getting the big love some of my other practices. That’s because by asking to become aware of the places where I am not whole, I am asking for the places where I have been fudging, where I have been cheating, where I have been in avoidance or denial to come to the surface.
Well, if I’ve been fudging and cheating and in avoidance or denial — it’s because those were all places where it was was uncomfortable to be. Those are things I didn’t want to look at. That’s why I was avoiding them! So of course it’s uncomfortable!!
And I know that’s why this practice isn’t getting the big love. Because even I — who asked for this — finds this challenging.
But here’t the thing: THIS ISN’T OPTIONAL.
This pandemic has come about BECAUSE of all the things that we, as a world, have avoided, ignored, denied.
This pandemic is like contrast dye used in a medical test: Contrast dye is injected so that medical professionals can better see what is normal or abnormal. It doesn’t change what is being seen; it just allows them to distinguish what is healthy and unhealthy. This, then, allows them to make a more accurate diagnosis which leads to better healing.
This pandemic is revealing so many things that our whole world has tried to ignore. For example, from its earliest days America has pretended that class doesn’t exist. America was supposed to provide the alternative to the European systems of royalty. So no, we don’t have royalty. Instead our royals are the rich — and what this pandemic is showing is the huge inequity between the rich and the poor — and how if we don’t take care of everyone, no one is truly cared for. . .
But what it is also showing is how the rest of us who can ill afford it go broke trying to live the lifestyles of the rich and famous. And in doing that have become more indebted, more unhappy, more obese, more scared, more angry, more medicated, more disconnected from one another and our planet.
That’s why this heart-centered practice of wholeness is ESSENTIAL. And that’s why it’s so hard. We weren’t brought up to look at the hard stuff.
But we have to do it.
That’s why I think this process can be so helpful. It allows us to break down something that feels challenging into manageable steps. To see what’s old and fear-based and needs to be released. And to recognize what needs work and turning over to the Power of Love.
The good news is that all it requires is a willingness for us to look at the things we try to avoid — and then to avail ourselves of the ever-present Power of Love that heals.
So each day I work my way through something that happened in my life with the process to see where I can practice more wholeness. I look at what I’ve avoided — and I avail myself of Love.
Here’s what happened yesterday:
WHAT HAPPENED: I had a challenging conversation with a work colleague about our collaborative process.
WHAT I INITIALLY FELT: My plan was to keep quiet and just listen. I felt like I had spoken too much and that it hadn’t been heard as I had hoped.
WHAT I INITIALLY TOLD MYSELF: If I can just listen, then I will be of service to her and to the project. You don’t need to inject your big opinion.
WHAT I INITIALLY WANTED: To be less engaged emotionally and to just show up to what she needed. To be less emotionally involved.
WHAT I DID: I didn’t shut up. I tried, but I just couldn’t. Two things happened: First, I felt I was being dishonest by not explaining something that had felt disappointing to me. Second, I kept hearing that there was a creative idea that I kept hearing that I needed to share. (That turned out to be exactly what needed to happen!)
WHAT I WOULD HAVE LIKED TO HAVE DONE: I would have liked to have been less riled up about the whole thing. On the outside, I think I was pretty calm. But on the inside it was very challenging to know whether I should speak or shouldn’t. Whether I was falling into an old pattern or beginning to co-create a new one.
WHAT FEAR SAID: Here we go again. Same old same old story. You don’t like what’s being said. You try to shut up and just listen, but you can’t. You’re judgmental. You always have to have your big opinion. And you’re just going to end up at the same place at the end of this. Frustrated and feeling bad about yourself.
WHAT LOVE SAID: Tell the truth and let go of her response. Share this creative idea and let go of the results. Be honest about your work load and valuing yourself financially. And let go of any expectations. Lean into Love and let go of the outcome.
WHAT FELT UNTRUE AND/OR OLD: Not being valued. Not having my voice. Being afraid of speaking. Being afraid of being disappointed.
WHAT FELT TRUE AND NEEDS ATTENTION: Needing to learn how to listen to Love’s words instead of making a plan to not speak. Letting Love come through and trusting that Love will be heard by Love. Because Love is All in all. In other words, Love is our only true language.
WHAT IS NOT WHOLE: The belief that some parts of my life or behavior are in Love while others are still loitering around on the outside wallowing in old stories and ways of being.
HOW I WILL PRACTICE WHOLENESS:
Either I believe Love is All-in-all, or I don’t. Which is it? We can’t have it both ways!
Trust that Love is the Source of my Supply — creatively, financially, interpersonally. Wholly.
Check in to see whether my “plans” are heart-centered and Love-based or are just iterations of old stories.
Listen ONLY to Love.
Remember that everything I am trying to avoid needs healing. And then avail myself of the Power of Love that always heals!
Remind myself that everyone is the expression of Love. And KNOW THIS DEEPLY.
Let go of fear’s stories and let Love write new ones.
Be glad for every opportunity to learn.
Give thanks for the incredible people in my life who are receptive to this process.
Rejoice in every opportunity to see what isn’t whole and know that that never was true.
See Love. Be Love. Live Love.
Always. All ways.
To hear today’s video practice. . .