When I was working with my wonderful editor, Robyn Karney, on my dad’s biography, she introduced me to a phrase I’d never heard before: In the event.
It means — as it turns (or turned) out.
Here are some uses: Bob was worried that he was going to lose his job. In the event, he ended up getting a promotion. Many possible solutions were put forward by the world’s most distinguished experts but, in the event, it was a little girl who solved the problem.
I woke up this morning with this phrase circling my mind. So I’m exploring it in this morning’s blog.
As I’ve written quite often, studies have shown that 90% of the things we are afraid of never come to pass. Studies have also shown that the average person spends what amounts to about six years of their life in some form of fear, worry or anxiety. And last but not least, we may call our worries and fears many things, but they all boil down to the same fear — the fear that psychologists call “the one fear to rule them all”. This is the fear of the unknown.
In other words: Most of us waste about six years of our lives worrying about some unknown thing that, in the event, has far less than a 10% chance of occurring.
Yesterday I did an interview about my new book in which I shared one of the most useful practice in it for this time in our world: The Practice of Invoking Our I Don’t Know. Instead of being afraid of what we don’t know, we can let what we don’t know teach us and lead us and guide us.
Right before the interview, they played an intro of my dad talking about the exact same thing! I almost burst out laughing. I’d never heard it before.
I thought I was such an original thinker. In the event, my dad had already thought of it!
This month’s heart-centered practice is all about wholeness. It’s about listening to what we’ve been trying to avoid. It’s about the ripple effect of our actions.
It basically boils down to this: We are all getting tricked into various forms of fears these days. This feels very justified given all the headlines out there.
But in the event, here’s what most days end up looking like for most of us:
I worried about this or that symptom I read about. In the event, it was never really anything.
I worried about the state of the economy and how it’s going to trickle down and effect me. In the event, today I had enough money to pay my bills and put food on the table.
I worried about the words and actions of this or that global or local leader. In the event, the sun rose, the birds sang, I walked the dog, I talked with a friend, the sun set, and I went to sleep.
And even when something more alarming comes up on our horizons, it usually goes something like this. I felt scared and alarmed and sad when I heard this or experienced that. In the event, more than anything I felt surrounded by Love in all kinds of tangible ways.
Does this seem to simplistic? I think if we all really think about the darkest times in our lives, we can always look back and see the silver linings. And that, in the event, we always learned something profound about what matters most. And that, i the event, what matters most is always Love.
So I think that phrase came to mind this morning to become a little touchstone when I seem to be heading down a rabbit hole. When this or that seems awfully real and anxiety provoking and is clamoring for my attention. I think I am going to cut short the argument by saying: In the event, only Love matters. In the event, only Love is real.
And last but not least, I am also going to remember that event thought, every choice I make may have a temporary ripple effect. But that the only ripple effect I really want is the Ripple of Love. And so I am going to check in with myself: In the event, what do I want to be putting out into the world right now? Love or fear.
I already know that answer: In the event, I choose Love.
I hope this resonates for you, too. And to go with today’s blog, I’ve made a fun video combining the clip I heard yesterday with my dad and some of what I’ve learned about I Don’t Know!
Have a look: